Alright, so you’re a first-time mom and you’re about to give birth any day now. How exciting!
But as your due date gets closer you start thinking more and more about labor. Are you prepared? Hospital bag packed? Your family, sisters, doctors have all given you some insight on what to expect during labor, right? That’s what I thought too, but I was so wrong.
It seems when everyone is telling you what to expect during labor, they keep it full of sunshine and rainbows. Apparently they think they are doing you a favour by not freaking you out before you go into labor.
As if that’s really doing you a favour. You end up just cursing everyone that ever gave you any advice on what to expect. That’s why I created this no bullshit guide to give you straight up advice on what to expect during childbirth.
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What You Need To Know Before Giving Birth
1. And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire.
I really wish I would have had a heads up about this, instead of hearing about it right as I am about to push my child’s gigantic head out of my lady bits.
It feels exactly how it sounds (a burning ring of fire) as you are pushing out that melon of a head.
2. Delivering the placenta
You just birthed a human, your lady bits are screaming at you, and now they tell you hey in the next little while something else is going to come popping out of your vagina… Great.
Well, the good news is delivering the placenta is much easier than delivering a baby. For the most part it just slides right out, like a jellyfish of sorts.
Related: Labor and Delivery Tips and Advice
3. There is a chance you will poop
I know, you’ve heard it over and over that you really are not going to care what happens when you are in action. You will just want that baby out. The first time I heard that I was thinking how can I not care? I’m pooping in a room full of people! Awkward.
Guess what? You probably will not care what happens. My first push I let out a little butt sneeze, I was so mortified! I started crying to my midwife, telling her not to let my husband back in the room (he had stepped out for a brief moment, PHEW) because I just couldn’t let him see me poop. But after three more pushes, I needed my husbands support in that room. So, I said screw it I don’t care who sees me poop lets just get this done with!
To this day, I still don’t know whether I pooped or not. The midwives, nurses, and doctors are very good at keeping you clean and being discrete about it. So, really TRY not to worry too much about this!
4. Uterine massages
You baby is finally here, the placenta is out, now you can enjoy your baby and no more pain right? Nope. For about 30 minutes to an hour after birth, the doctors/midwives check your uterus, a few times, to make sure it is shrinking down to size. How do they do this you ask? They push down on your stomach and poke around at your angry tender uterus. It’s not a fun time. Better than the ring of fire but still not the best feeling.
5. Labour is exhausting
They tell you in the early stages of labor to get some sleep to prepare for the final stages. I don’t know how sleep is possible. I couldn’t do it, I was too excited. But if you can find a way to sleep do it! It is totally possible to fall asleep during active labor. And… that’s not a good thing — trust me I know.
6. Nipple stimulation might become your best friend
If your contractions start to slow stimulating your nipples by hand or with a breast pump help start them back up again. So if you don’t take my advice from point #5 and you become exhausted your contractions could start to slow down or even stop for a brief period of time.
There you have the 6 things you need to know before going into labor. If you have any more ideas to add to the list leave them in a comment below!
If you are planning to breastfeed, check out my post Ultimate List of Breastfeeding Supplies!
I think the “ring of fire” was the part that totally surprised me the most. Well the pain was surprisingly awful, but the serious burn when you push is crazy!
Thanks for sharing! My friends always ask me what to expect and it is just so hard to remember all of the details. I’m guessing nature does that on purpose – otherwise, who would ever do it again, lol!!
These are all too true, and I definitely with I knew before my first!
This totally cracked me up. Between the “ring of fire” and the “jellyfish shooting out of your lady bits” (both completely accurate, btw), I couldn’t stop laughing.