Welcome to motherhood a place where we are filled with so much love, joy, and happiness. Where we get judged, offered way too many opinions, and whisper “what the fuck” under our breath far too often.
In may not always be sunshine and rainbows but we wouldn’t change it for the world.

Way back before you became a mother you hear things, maybe get a glimpse into other peoples family lives, and think yeah, ok, I get motherhood. Then you become a mother and all hell breaks loose. It’s not unusual for you to leave the house in slippers because you “forgot” to switch to shoes or for you to feel like a zombie all the time. But don’t worry most of us mom’s feel the same way!

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Unspoken Motherhood Truths

1. The moment you meet your baby you will be filled with so much love and have so much love to give that baby. You never realize how much you can actually love someone until you meet your child for the first time.

2. You may not feel a strong bond between you and your baby right away. That is OK. So many of us moms have gone through that. Never be afraid to ask for help. Ask your midwife or OB for tips on how to bond with your baby.

3. For at least the first year of your child’s life, you will be covered in bodily fluids. Spit up, urine, poop, breastmilk, or other unknown substances.

4. You will feel lonely at times. Even though your kids will follow you EVERYWHERE around the house and ask you a million questions a day, at times you will still feel alone. You will long for adult conversations and wonder where all your friends have gone.

If you are feeling lonely and need a place to talk with other moms, then come join my facebook group. A group for mom’s who don’t have their shit all together but are there for one another to pass on tips, listen to your stories, and there for you when you just need to let it all out and vent.

5. Your friends from before you had children seem to disappear. I’m not sure what causes this, I’m still trying to figure that out for myself. It could be them, maybe it’s you, or maybe it’s because we are all adulting now and can’t find the time to get together.

6. Poop, you will become obsessed with poop. You baby poop can tell you so much about what is going on in their little bodies that you find yourself obsessing with what their poop looks like and if it is normal or not.

7. Public temper tantrums will end up happening. It’s ok, shit happens. Afraid of nasty stares or people judging you? Don’t be, you have all the tools to handle the tantrum, and if you don’t act like you have it together. Stare those judgemental people down because in reality they either are not parents (and I believe karma will bite them in the ass) or they are seeing what you do, so they can implement new tactics for when their kids have tantrums.

8. You will get sick of other peoples opinions pretty fucking quick. It’s like once you become pregnant everyone and their monkey’s uncle needs to give you some sort of opinion on how you should eat, act, or raise your kids.

9. You will realize moms are jerks. We should all be in this together, supporting each other, cheering one another on. But NOPE perfect Patty needs to butt her nose in and tell you, you’re a shit mom because she doesn’t like the way you are raising your kid, because it’s different than the way she raises hers. MOM SHAMING NEEDS TO STOP, YO.

**PSA: Just because another mom does something different than you, does not make her a shit mom, a bad mom, or careless. Stop being keyboard warriors and start cheering each other on. We are all in this motherhood adventure together!**

10. You will never get a minute alone. Your kids will follow you everywhere, including into the bathroom. Just to ask you the most random questions, or to tell you something really “cool”, or to ask you “why” a million times.

11. Privacy, privacy goes right out the window once you have kids. Hope you don’t mind company while you poop!

12. Once you become a mother you will be filled with some rational and lots of un-rational fears. Welcome to motherhood, where you think that everything bad is going to happen to your kid. I spent the first 4 weeks doing sleeping rotations with my husband so someone was always awake and could make sure the baby was still breathing. But don’t worry as your child gets older the un-rational fears, somewhat, go away.

13. There were become a point in motherhood where you just think “meh, he’s put worse things in his mouth”

14. You will get used to walking out of the house with an unknown stain on your shirt.

15. Mom brain is real, and it is terrible. I forget the simplest of things, loose words, and misplace objects all the time.

16. Coffee will become a way of life. There will be no functioning without it.

17. Sorry, COLD, cold coffee will become a way of life.

18. There will be a stage where you cringe at the word “mama”.

19. You will appreciate wine, wine solves most motherhood problems. #sendwine

20. You will hear “why” about 600 times a day. And “because I said so” will soon become not a good enough response.

21. There will be a time where all your calm parenting tactics go out the window and you scream. It happens to the best of us, its ok mama, you got this girl.

22. Sleep becomes a thing of the past, you will soon forget what it feels like to get a well rested sleep.

23. Time will go by too quick, never forget this. Before you know it they are all grown up. ENJOY every moment, even the bad ones.

24. Mom guilt is a thing, and you’ll feel it often, especially with toddlers.

25. It is ok to do stuff for yourself. If you do not take care of yourself you will not be 100% for your kids. Pamper yourself, find a babysitter and have a night out with your partner, buy that pair of shoes you have been eyeing. You deserve it, mama!

26. Even though you said you would NEVER let your kids sit in front of the TV, you will. Mama, you will. You will learn that it is the only way you will get anything done, or have a much need break

27. An obsession with buying baby products and clothes will happen. Their stuff is too cute and its hard to pass up.

Check out my post on Must Have Baby Products

28. There will be times that your kids annoy the shit out of you, and you go a little crazy, but I promise you, it is all worth it.

29. “Pup, pup boogie”, “baby shark”, and various other theme songs will be stuck in your head all day every day.

30. Cleaning, all you feel like you do is clean. I don’t think there will ever be a time you don’t need to clean something up until your kids are in college (unless they still live at home— good luck!)

31. The inside of your purse will become a sticky mess filled with unknown objects.

32. You will laugh, yell, and cry, probably all in the same day, often.

Welcome to the adventures of motherhood, it is batshit crazy, but we wouldn’t change it for the world.
What are some things you would like to see added to the list?

If you are looking for more tips and advice check out my facebook group. A place where moms can come for judgment-free tips and advice. No mom shaming here. We are a growing group and would love to have you join the community!